Soliloqui

I stumbled across a graphics site that was on strike today. Quite obviously, I was procrastinating on homework, and I still am as I type. So, being the curious person I am, I looked into it, and found more websites that were striking.

So apparently, some graphics sites are tired of plagiarism and the like and want to tell people about it by shutting down their websites indefinitely. To be honest, I don’t know what to think of it. Many of the websites I have admired for a long time. One of them is a link exchange, one used to be an affiliate with my old domain. I haven’t been involved with the webdesign community for almost a year, so I guess I don’t know what the conditions are like right now. I’ve been plagiarised a few times but since ShadowCache has never been popular I guess it’s something that hasn’t affected me quite as much as it has others.

I don’t think people will think about it much. They’ll just go on to other websites and forget about the striking ones. I feel that we as webmasters assume too much of other people. We assume that they are more invested in the Internet community than they really are. We think that they treat their actions on the Internet the same as their actions in real life. But for many, especially non-webdesigners, this isn’t true. They steal a layout, put it up on a freeserver, and start blogging about their life. From that point on, they are completely detached from whatever goes on within the webdesigning community. They won’t be offended if the site closes down due to their stupidity. The only thing it is doing is generating more animosity between webmasters, and we seriously do not need any more of that.

Yes, they aren’t trying to change anything. Yes, they’re just doing it to express their feelings. But I’m still a bit confused as to the point of it all. I feel like they are expressing a well-known sentiment among webdesigners.

On a side note, I was totally in for a shock today. I really must accept the fact that I do not, can not, and will never know everything. I thought I had him figured out. In fact, I had no idea. The situation only further aggravated the mental situation I was in and had plagued me the night before. Am I wasting my life trying to be with someone who isn’t physically here? Should I end it? Would it all be for nothing? I really don’t know. I’m not trying hard enough, apparently.

I always took the easy way
Just sit around and say complaints
It’s now time to say goodbye
“Raining all day” going away
Step out to be myself again
-The Brilliant Green

The more I want to put my thoughts into words, the more tongue-twisted I become. I feel like I have no direction, and I have no inner strength to pull myself through. What’s worth it and what isn’t? Am I mature in my thinking or way too ignorant? Perspective defines everything; nothing is certain. Everything is relative. I think the problem is that I keep seeking for absolutes and they just aren’t there. Then I create my own, only for them to disappear swiftly once I think I’ve got it all figured out.

All right, I feel better now. Nothing has been cleared up, but I guess I have sort of created the illusion in my mind.

Must. Be. Happy. Think. Summer! Follow Jpop lyrics.

Lovely how I get to start out my new domain with a depressing entry. Why do bad things happen…not even in threes…in massive, inconceivable clumps? I just cannot fathom the suckiness of it all. When I am really upset I don’t even want to talk about it. I just want to stare at people and wish they would go away. When I’m upset, I always wonder if other people are happy. Like the actors in all those commercials. Are they happy, and if so, why the hell can’t I be?