Soliloqui

i’ve created a lot blogs over the years, and i’ve decided to slowly and gradually compile them in the same place, and what better place than here. the only exception i have is the xanga, because that’s just a bit too much.

some notes:
absenceofcolor – first livejournal, started off with good intentions, faded away, neglected, came back for a tiny, brief period as animanga blog which quickly died as well.
reverie – first blog created on my first domain, silent-mist.com (forevermore defunct) powered by b2.
silent-mist.com – used wordpress on the index after deciding b2 was just not cool.

i feel old, and at the same time i can only think, “where has the time gone?”

p.s. most of my entries just make me look really stupid and annoying, so yes i am embarrassed to be reposting them but i guess i can’t deny that those days once existed, can i? it’s nice to see the progression i suppose. or maybe i haven’t changed. who knows. all i know is that some of this old stuff is painful to get through.

p.p.s. sadly, i have a lot of missing entries because i lost backups of some old entries at silent-mist.com and i used to blog at philosophy.nu but it shut down before i could retrieve my entries. i also used to delete my entries at xanga regularly to make the site look cleaner (i obviously did not realize the beauty of just privatizing the entries until much later). so a lot of the stuff i’ve written has gotten sucked into the black hole of cyberspace. however, i’m happy with whatever i can salvage, though it is a shame i can’t have it all.

[From: Reverie]

maybe it
lingers in the shadows
subtlely

squint and
wipe away the dirt
peel back the covers

by itself, merely an element

assemble, my friends
conceive the facets of mind
behold the meaning of ‘beauty’

[hold on//lack of inspiration//tbc]

Christine @ 08:57:57 PM.

[From: Reverie]

Didn’t do so well last quarter, but things will change. I love starting anew, starting clean, spotless record. That’s why video games are so fun. Game over? Start again. Screwed up a move? Go back. Too bad life doesn’t work that way.
I don’t know if I should disable comments. The spam is hitting hard. I don’t care for blackjack or poker, so just leave me alone >=O I also want to switch over to wordpress. Less bugs, more features, or so I hear. Though it might be easier to just start a new blog instead of converting from b2 or wordpress.
I’ve been in a creative writing mood. Mostly tsubasa fanfiction ideas are floating about.

—————————-
“Are you coming back, omoni?”
“Chunhyang-chan, I would not go if I knew I wasn’t coming back. That would be selfish of me.”
“Well, if there’s something you have to do, omoni, don’t worry about me!”
“I’ll be back soon, Chunhyang.”
“But what if you don’t?”
“I will.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Chunhyang, I’m sure. Now please go back to the house. I’ll be home soon.”
“I’ll wait for you and you can teach me more magic when you get back, right?”
“Of course. Now, run along. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Chunhyang jolted awake and shivered under the covers. It had been a while since she had had that memory, that dream. She had worked too hard to strengthen herself by forgetting, ridding herself of thoughts that she knew would only weaken her.
It had been one week since Syaoran and his friends left Koryo. The house was empty again, musky and collecting dust in obscure corners.
The oppression was gone; political rest was finally in order. The people were pacified, but she couldn’t calm her own heart. A new fire had erupted from the smoldering ashes of hatred towards the ryanban.
She had to learn more, be more, defeat more. To be greater than her mother, greater than the kishim. This new ambition was the fire that raged in her core. This time it wasn’t about revenge.
It was about herself.
—————

Christine @ 11:23:19 PM.